So Are You Dating?

In Dating and Relationships by jfree007Leave a Comment

We’re… together but it’s not serious, good friends, talking, just having fun, just friends, friends with benefits, in an open-relationship, dating, just going on dates, seeing each other, umm…

Ask a millennial if they are dating (insert name of person they know here) and even the most composed of us will stumble through that list like we were learning to speak for the first time. And God forbid the person we are talking about is standing next to us… some people would rather be shot than have to on the spot define a relationship, multiplied by 100 if their person of interest is standing next to them.

I may or may not have found myself in this situation recently.

A girl that I am… seeing (this took no less than 5 minutes)… I’m gonna go with seeing…

A girl that I am seeing and I were at a fundraising event that her family was helping facilitate at a ranch. Of course when she asked me to volunteer I was happy to go. At this point we have been on a few dates so it’s always a good sign when the people you date want to incorporate you into the things that are going on in their lives.

So I get there before her and I am sitting in the car waiting and it occurs to me…

“What if someone asks me what we are?” However I dismissed the idea thinking, “Nah that probably won’t happen these people don’t know me well enough for that I’m just another volunteer that she happened to bring.”

Oh, I don’t believe I could have been more wrong.

We were asked no less than 5 times and for 2 of them we were together. I’m not sure if people like to give other people heart attacks but they were doing their best out there.

These were the highlights of the night:

#3: Right Out of the Gate?… Really?

The first time the girl I’m seeing (who we’re gonna call Paulina) was telling me about the ranch we were volunteering at and taking me on a tour of it before the actual fundraising event began. As we were starting our walk we journeyed past one of Paulina’s friends. Paulina stopped to talk with her for a little while, and as they were talking the friend asked Paulina who I was. Paulina responded that I was one of her friends that followed her around a lot and smiled at and nudged me.

Of course this did not escape the gaze of her friend who smiled and said, “Oh really, have a friend like that too!” Then she went back to her texting with a little giggle as if to say, “Y’all ain’t slick!” as we walked away.

#2: Keep to the Code!

Around the end of the event once most of the tables had been broken down and the chairs were being put away, a boy maybe about 5 years old, who had been talking to me throughout the night, stopped both of us and started asking me a bunch of questions.

At one point I was wondering if I had that much energy when I was 5.

I started to settle into the rhythm of the questions after he told me that I looked like a football player and asked me if I had ever been to a rodeo. I decided that I could probably wait him out since his family looked like they were getting ready to go.

And then he asked me if Paulina and I were boyfriend and girlfriend and gave us a sneaky little smile and all I could think was, “I trusted you!”

Yes, I know he was only 5, but come on man you know the code! (Yes the Guy Code is a very real thing.) I will say Paulina must have known that we were going to get some questions because she did very well for herself (again) and playfully through me under the bus by saying, without skipping a beat, “I don’t know you have to ask him (me)”. Truly the mark of a keeper but it did nothing to keep me from stumbling through my answer for a good 30 seconds. I’m not even sure what I ended up saying.

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#1: The Wrath of Grandma!

And now I have saved the best for last though chronologically it happened somewhere in the middle.

Whenever you enter a new situation you always try to prepare yourself for a couple possible scenarios and have a few plans for each, or at least I do. However even with all the planning in the world there are some things that you just cannot be ready for.

Paulina’s grandmother is one of those things!

I was partially expecting some of the how do you know Paulina questions, and the basics like, “How did you meet?” and “Where are you from?” type questions from old grandma. But when grandma punched me in the side (not a playful punch) and angrily said to me, “What are you and my Paulina doing? Are you dating? I forgot how to speak English for a good minute and a half. I’m not sure if there was any prep I really could have done for this moment because everything about it was perfect to catch me off guard.

Grandma knows her craft.

There was absolutely no segue! We went from laughing about something Paulina had said earlier straight to the relationship question. She also hit me which I was not expecting. And she looked genuinely angry when she started asking about our relationship, a complete 360 from our earlier conversation. If I weren’t so flustered I might have been impressed by the skill this old lady showed in knocking me off my game. I had absolutely no words an ended up just standing there until someone interrupted the conversation.

Grandma is out here playing mind games with me and here I thought it was going to be a nice day of volunteering!

Why are questions about the nature of a relationship such landmines with our generation and how do we get better at answering them? I plan on looking into this and more with a series of posts that will include thoughts on topics surrounding dating and relationships in general and some of the situations my friends and I have found ourselves in.


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