Valentine’s Day you are here again! Usually a time reserved for couples and long time lovers the holiday is becoming much more accessible to the rest of us. You can go out with your single friends to a bar or you can find something to do by yourself. The age old question still remains though… Can you go on a first date on this sacred day?
If you’re wondering if you can handle a first date on Valentine’s Day start by asking yourself these questions:
What is my goal?
Going on a date on Valentine’s Day should be exactly the same as going on a date on any other day.
It’s a first date y’all it should be pretty light. You are going to a neutral and public location. Basically you are there to make sure that they are not a serial killer and that they look the same in the daylight/ in real life. If you can checkoff those two things and the two of you can keep a conversation going; that is a success!
Anything else is a bonus.
You cannot handle a first date on Valentine’s Day if you are only picking this romantic holiday for the following reasons:
- You think you are more likely to get lucky…whether that be a kiss or sex.
- You’re secretly in love with them and you think the romance of the holiday will make them fall head over heels for you.
- You just don’t want to be alone on Valentine’s.
So are you dating?
Going on a date on Valentine’s Day is basically inviting someone to mistake you for a couple. There is really no getting around that.
With strangers you can just kind of shrug it off because they probably won’t make that big a deal about it. You should correct them if they are going to be in your immediate vicinity for a decent amount of time. If they say it in passing then just let it go and take it is a compliment maybe even make a joke about it to your date.
If you run into someone you know, which on any other day is probably not gonna happen but is almost a mathematical certainty on a Valentine’s First Date, just be cool. Don’t freak out!
Unless they already know you are on a first date they are absolutely going to make a comment.
You should correct them but don’t make it too serious and don’t seem too eager to say that you two are not together. Being calm under pressure will definitely score you some cool points with your date. As far as not sounding too eager to say NO, you don’t want your date to think that you are ashamed of them or don’t want to be associated with them in that way.
Friend: Hey what’s up I didn’t know you had a girlfriend!
Me: Hey (insert friend’s name here) this is (insert date’s name here) this is actually our first date and I’m still trying to make sure she’s not a serial killer…etc…etc…
Now we are all laughing and my friend can LEAVE!
Let’s break down exactly what happened because at first glance it looks really simple.
- I stayed calm and didn’t just blurt out some incoherent nervous ramblings. (Very easy to do on a computer.)
- I introduced my date and my friend to each other. The first thing I did was acknowledge that they didn’t know each other. I am in fact “with” the person standing next to me. If you lead off by denying that you are a couple that is likely going to make your date feel bad. They will think it is most important to you that you communicate you are not in a relationship with them.
- I never said “no” or “not” when referring to our relationship status. These words have a bad connotation, they are by definition negative so let’s not associate them with our first date.
- I mentioned it was a first date. Now my friend knows the deal. And my date knows that I know it is nothing more than that. I am not trying to give the illusion to anyone in my friend group that it is more than that. It also let’s my date know that she shouldn’t think it is more than that.
- Ended on a joke! Humor is sexy, I say as a very funny man! You want to end this with a joke because just saying it is your first date and waiting for your friend to respond to that can have mixed results. Some of my friends would handle it great, make their own joke, and we could go on our way. Some of my friends would be awkward as hell and get an angry text later. No need to roll the dice just go ahead and end with a joke!
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Where are we going to go?
PHYSICALLY! Where are you physically going to be meeting for this date?…If you read that heading and thought that I meant, “Where are we going emotionally/ with the relationship?”, then you are not ready and you can go ahead and skip to the bottom of the article.
There are usually many options for a first date. Everything from the cliché dinner and a movie to going to an art class the only thing that limits you is your (and your partner’s) imagination.
Great Ideas for a Valentine’s Day First Date!
The Zoo, Amusement Park, Bar, Coffee, Gym, Moon*, or Bowling
*It may be slightly difficult but it will be memorable!
At first glance these things may not seem like they have much in common but they do!
You need to make sure that the location is fun and casual. Think places that I would take one of my friends rather than places I want to take my future wife or husband.
When looking for a date location on Valentine’s Day, avoid places that will be overrun with couples. Also places where people will go out of their way to inquire about your relationship status. For example the date ideas below.
Horrible Ideas for a Valentine’s Day First Date!
Movie, Dinner, Basically anywhere too intimate
Can you imagine going to dinner and everyone telling you what a cute couple you are? At the same time you are surrounded by couples feeding each other angel food cake! That is not a good look for a first date.
What am I going to wear?
This is probably way more important than you think! How you dress can do a lot to set the tone of the date. Dress too casual and your date might think you are uninterested and dress too fancy and they will be worried you are taking it to seriously. Multiply this by 10 on Valentine’s Day!
On Valentine’s day dressing too casual means you are trying to scream to other people that you are not in the least bit romantically interested in the person you are with.
Dress too fancy and your date is going to be terrified you want to kidnap them and take them to a drive in chapel. I know you think you look super hot in that 3 piece suit or ball gown but calm it down.
I may or may not have had an issue in my early dating career when over dressing helped ruin a date… A younger version of me may have worn a 3 piece suit to a gelato place… Don’t judge me! Young Jeff wasn’t ready for a First Date on Valentine’s Day, or any other day. Learn from my mistakes y’all!
Are they being weird about it?
If it seems like your date is being weird about that day in particular you may have a problem…
There are approximately 365.25 days in a year. February 14th is just one of those days… (The restaurant, flower, balloon, and a few other industries are about to burn down my house!)
If they can’t look past all of the pomp and circumstance then you should go ahead and skip down to the Diagnosis heading. Start reading under not “Not Ready”.
If the person you want to date is a reasonable mature person they should be able to handle this. Everyone is different but for me if she can’t even entertain the idea of a date on Valentine’s Day I really want to hear a reason why that comes from a deeper place than, “because it’s weird”!
If after reading this article you find that you are not ready for a Valentine’s First Date no worries! Not everyone is. Like we were saying it is just one of 365 days that you can make plans on.
The most important thing to do if you find yourself here is make sure that you understand why. Maybe you should confront whatever is holding you back this Valentine’s Day. That way the next time it rolls around you will be ready!
Look at you! You weren’t tripped up by anything I threw at you. You truly have nerves of steel and your reward for that is my blessing to go on a First Date on Valentine’s Day. It is just like any other day and you are ready!
Also let people know how you got to this point. If your friends seem like they can’t handle a First Date on Valentine’s Day then help them get there. Spread the love!
Well now you know! Are you ready for a First Date on Valentine’s Day? Do you have any funny Valentine’s Day Stories? Let me know in the comments below!