Escaping the Friend Zone

In Dating and Relationships by jfree007Leave a Comment

You can’t. Thanks for stopping by and reading this article. I hope its given you some clarity as to the current state of your predicament. Just kidding! That would be too easy… let’s dive in so we can get you out of the friend zone!

What is the Friend Zone?

I’m sure most of you already know what it is but, just in case.

The Friend Zone is a situation that occurs when there are one-sided romantic feelings between members of a friendship. This can happen for a multitude of reasons. Regardless of the reason, people who find themselves in this situation usually want to leave it.

There are some people who will argue that it is impossible to escape once you have been friend zoned. I think that if you really have romantic/sexual feelings for the person than why not try?

If that describes you, then you have come to the right place!

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So Are You Dating?

Should I Try and Escape the Friend Zone?

Do not do this lightly. This is not the kind of thing you do on a whim. You may lose what is probably a good friend over this.

In my dating career, I’ve lost at least three friends because one of us was trying to get out of the friend zone. (Twice I was the one trying to get out and once it was my friend.)

Don’t get me wrong though. I’m sure there are people who can have an honest talk about their emotions. Both sides completely respecting what the other has to say, and analyzing the current and future states of their relationship.

I have not met these people, but they are probably out there!

Think about it again… I know you just skimmed that part above so go read it!

Methods of Escaping the Friend Zone

Alright, got all that out of the way. Now for what you came for!!! Here are the top four ways to get out of the friend zone.

Get More Attractive

permanent-magnet.jpgNot the easiest thing in the world to accomplish, otherwise we would all be gorgeous all the time. However, it is not impossible! Here’s 5 easy ways to become more attractive this week!

  1. Laugh/Smile More
  2. Smell Good
  3. Set Some Short-Term Goals
  4. Wear Clothes that Match
  5. Workout
Be Less Available

This one comes from the idea that people want what they can’t have. If you are always around the friend that you are interested, in they will never have a need for you.

They already have a shadow, they don’t need another one.

Don’t cut them off completely, but try to find real reasons to busy. If you aren’t always there then the time you do spend together becomes that much more valuable. They might even start to see you in a different more romantic light once they don’t have all your time.

Be More Interesting

This goes hand-and-hand with the last point. Become more interesting by doing things that you like. This is what you’ll be busy with some of the time when they want to hangout.

  • Join a club
  • Go to Meetups (I talk about them a lot lol)
  • Find a new hobby
  • Take a class at a community college
  • Start a side hustle for some extra cash

All of these will give you new and exciting things to talk about with the friend you are interested in. Even more important than that they will add to your life regardless of how things go. It’s a win-win situation. 


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2014-09-16-new-girl6.jpgIf you’ve seen New Girl then you know exactly what I’m talking about. The exact opposite of being less available. When you are “Bidening” you are making yourself very available. Winston describes the strategy as, “Just be there.”

This strategy plays off the idea that if you are there then your person of interest is less likely to seek out other romantic interests. You become a safe, and easy choice. 

Murphy’s Law states that whatever can happen will happen. It is a fact that more can happen between the two of you if you are always there.

As a warning, in the show this strategy was applied strictly for hookups. If you plan on using it for more than please remember that this person should not be your whole world. Stay mentally safe out here y’all!


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What to Do if Nothing Works?

Hey it happens! Keep a stiff upper lip. At least now you know and you won’t have to wonder, “What if…”. I’m sure we all have those people we wish we’d told how we felt regardless of the outcome.

As far as regret goes, this is probably some of the easiest to avoid.

Sticking Together Vs. Friend Breakup

Even with all of the information, tips, and tricks I can provide it is possible that the other person may not be into you in that way. They are entitled to their own opinions. Now you have to decide whether you will stay friends with that person, or if you can’t be their friend anymore and need to cut them off.

Sticking Together

Just be friends! It’s super cliché, but there are waaaaay too many fish in the sea for you to spend too much time being sad for yourself. Obviously there was something special enough about them for you to hang around long enough to be good friends.

On top of that, there was something amazing enough about them that you wanted to date them.

Don’t throw that away, it’s not worth it over some hurt feelings. (This might apply to more than just getting out of the friendzone…I’m not crying, you’re crying!)

/If you are reading this can we be best friends again?/ JM

Friend Breakup

Debrief: My First Real RelationshipI do think there are some situations where you should “breakup”.

  1. If either you or the friend you are interested in make each other feel bad about what happened. (Teasing, pressuring a relationship, etc.)
  2. A temporary break up might be necessary just to clear your head. Try and make it clear to your friend that you need a little space but have every intention of coming back.
  3. You feel like you need to “break up”. At the end of the day this is completely your decision.


Get Over Your Break Up the Right Way

Don’t Cross the Line (Please!)

Friends I think we all know this, but just in case…No means no!

If the person that you think you are falling for let’s you know that they are not interested, that is your cue to move on. Don’t be that person that ends up on the news cause you just couldn’t take the rejection.

That is not a good look!

I know. Your favorite movie told you that you should fight for this person and do everything you can to be with them. If moving heaven and earth is what it takes, that’s what you should do!

Before you do this… think really hard.

Do you really want to be with someone who only wants to be with you because of this grand gesture of love. Not trying to be mean, but at that point they don’t like you. They like what you can do for them.

I want to be with someone who loves me just as much when we are chilling on the couch, as when we are drinking wine under the Eiffel Tower at night!


Well we’ve come to the end of another article y’all. So how would you escape the Friend Zone? Has it worked out for you in the past? Let me know in the comments below! Also don’t forget to subscribe! You’ll receive emails about articles like this and insider info about everything Adulting!

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